Sorry

I’d like to be honest with you right from the start
I’m a murderer
(But one with a heart).
I’m not messing, I’m confessing
To all of my crimes
I don’t fib
And I hope it don’t seem glib
that it rhymes.

My crimes aren’t of passion, premeditated or greed
I just didn’t see you there
And it makes my heart bleed
I need to plead… guilty
For all the times when I rushed
This is my apology
To all the snails I’ve crushed.

I try to avoid you
But after it rains
You’re a slow slithering minefield
With delicate frames
Ipso facto, I tiptoe, there and back though
I lack
Light-footedness, and I confess
When I hear that crack…

I wince
I must convince… you
I truly am sorry
For going down on you (and not in a good way)
But like the wheels of a lorry
That passed over grass as the story unfurled
I’m public enemy number one
In the terrestrial pulmonate gastropod mollusc… world.

Don’t laugh
The footpath is a dangerous place
Where the gastropod plod face their latest case
A size 11 shoe wreaked havoc from Hades
(It’s true, I do have big feet ladies).

I digress, it’s the stress, and yes
Snails, I’m rubbish
I destroyed the home you carry alone
And now you’re feeling
sluggish.