A Happy Ending?
The problem with some poems
Is you don't know where they end.
(big pause)
I hate the awkward pauses
That can drive you round the bend
They become a slight distraction
And you don't know if your reaction
Is quite the right action to gain satisfaction.
A fraction of the time I applaud too soon
And I feel like a loon
Like there's an elephant in the room
But it's not my fault, it's the poet
And he knows it.
(pause)
The false ending is even more mind bending
It seems to be trending
And is frankly a little offending
It needs mending
And I feel like spending some time sending a letter to my MP, the BBC
And John Hegley
Or paying a visit
And if there is a happy ending
Then this is it.
(pause, look at woman in audience)
Sorry, that wasn't the end missus
This is.
Is you don't know where they end.
(big pause)
I hate the awkward pauses
That can drive you round the bend
They become a slight distraction
And you don't know if your reaction
Is quite the right action to gain satisfaction.
A fraction of the time I applaud too soon
And I feel like a loon
Like there's an elephant in the room
But it's not my fault, it's the poet
And he knows it.
(pause)
The false ending is even more mind bending
It seems to be trending
And is frankly a little offending
It needs mending
And I feel like spending some time sending a letter to my MP, the BBC
And John Hegley
Or paying a visit
And if there is a happy ending
Then this is it.
(pause, look at woman in audience)
Sorry, that wasn't the end missus
This is.
